A Strange New World
by cwgrlkor
Summary: Shay Torres has everything she needs in her life; a great job, a great guy. But what happens when she realizes there was an option she never knew about? Includes Jacob, Edward, Bella. Renesmee was not born in this story .
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I closed my eyes and gripped the arms of my seat as the plane slowly descended into Seattle. The storm had caused a lot of turbulence throughout the last forty minutes of the flight and I was ready to get off this damn plane. Christian knew I didn't like planes—actually no, I loathed them—and yet he had insisted on this international trip.

"You had to meet my parents one day, Shay." He had told me. I would have been willing to wait a couple weeks for a cruise, even if that would take weeks. I exhaled deeply as the plane touched the runway. Only then could I believe I would be safe. That is until we went back home to Madrid, our current address, which was quite possibly a million miles and 18 hours (by plane) away.

I acknowledged the importance of the trip; I had only met Chris' parents a couple times when they came to visit us in New York. Of course, that was before I was offered a job at the American Embassy in Madrid and Chris decided to join me. Since then he had launched a very successful marketing career. We'd been together since my freshman year of college (he had been a junior at the time) and decided to take the next step in our relationship by becoming engaged. I really loved everything about my life. It had all fallen into place after graduation. Chris and I moved into a loft and managed to find decent jobs that would pay for most of our expenses. And Chris himself was so perfect. Sure, he could be sloppy sometimes and he did irritate me occasionally. But he really understood me better than anyone else in the world had. We connected on a level deeper than anything I knew existed. If I believed in the supernatural, I would have said we met in a past life and our souls had reunited once more in this one. Wow, I thought to myself, it's already been 4 years. I guess I was still young, barely 22. Yet, for some reason, I felt really old all of a sudden. Like I was getting my life together too fast. It had taken my parents 30 years to achieved everything I had managed to cram into one. Maybe I was rushing into it, I though anxiously. I hadn't really dated a lot of people, how could I be sure Chris was _the_ one, and not just _a _one?

I had never planned on getting married young. Yes, I consider marrying at 22 young. I always saw myself as a career woman and couldn't imagine the thought of marrying until I was at least 28. But things were so different with Christian, this just felt so right. So, that's why I was here in this foreign city halfway across the world, a place that looked as though the sun never warmed the faces of its residents.

"C'mon Shay. We have to make that connecting flight to Port Angeles, or we'll never reach Forks by tonight."

I groaned. "Can't we just stay in Seattle for today? I've never been here before. It's so beautiful." I lied as I looked out at the dismal grey sky.

Chris laughed. "You'll say anything to get out of boarding a plane."

* * *

I rested my head against the window as Chris drove to Forks. It was getting dark, but the clock said we would be at Chris' parents house well ahead of schedule. As I continued to stare out the window, I was struck by how strange everything looked. I grew up in Southern California and was used to Spanish architecture and radiant sunshine. Spain wasn't all too different, except for the stone architecture and the myriad remnants of history everywhere you turned. The only historical things here seemed to be the trees, and they really weren't that interesting. I couldn't believe that Chris had grown up here. At least not the man I knew. Maybe Chris the boy had fit in perfectly here. I tried to imagine a teenage Chris trudging through the rain on his way to class at Forks High School. I couldn't do it.

I really hoped I could hide my displeasure in front of Chris' parents, Rod and Sheryl. I couldn't help it. Being here just made me feel depressed. I sighed. Well, it was only for a week and a half. After that I'd be in my beautiful Spain where I had spent only a year so far, but had already grown to love it.

All too quickly, the car slowed to a stop as I snapped out of my reverie.

"Here we are, welcome to Villa Ford." Chris joked. I grimaced back. This house did not even loosely resemble a Spanish villa. Yet, I managed to conjure up a smile as I made my way up the path leading to the door, unaware that my life was about to change forever.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day I woke up expecting brilliant sunshine to be streaming through my window, but the only light in the room came from the grey haze outside. It was foggy and rainy, two things I had not seen in a very long time. So it wasn't a dream, I thought to myself, I really am in the middle of nowhere. Well at least the reception from Chris' parents went well. They were genuinely nice people, a little bit on the small town side, but that was to be expected. They were gracious hosts and had made sure I had everything I wanted. My comfort was their top priority, they had said. Little did they know that what I really wanted was about 10,000 miles away.

I got up to stretch and looked out the window. Well, it certainly was different. Yet as I stared closer, I couldn't help but see a beauty in the profusion of green. The tall ancient trees that hinted at an entire history different from my own. It was breathtaking in a way home could never be. Suddenly, I was startled by a knock on the door.

"Shanae, honey." It was Chris' mom, Sheryl. "Are you awake?"

"Yes. Good morning Mrs. Ford."

"Oh, please call me Sheryl. I was wondering what you wanted for breakfast."

I smiled. They were so nice. "Anything will be fine. Thank you, Sheryl."

"No problem. Oh and hon, you might want to get dressed quickly. After breakfast we're going over to visit a family friend."

Great, I thought. I hope it's not another relative. Meeting all of Chris' family made me anxious for some reason. I got that strange feeling again, like I was rushing into this at 100 miles an hour.

* * *

"So who is it that we are visiting?" I asked Chris as I climbed into the rental car, it was a really nice black mustang. Very mysterious and even badass looking.

"We're going over to Chief Swan's house. He went to school with my parents and they were pretty good friends. I haven't been to his place in years. I heard his daughter came up to live with him about 6 years ago from Phoenix. Mom and Dad said she got married though to some guy and she doesn't visit very often."

"Oh. Did you ever meet her?"

"Yeah. We had a class together senior year, but we weren't really friends. I was more into the sports scene, so most of my friends were jocks."

It was so weird trying to imagine Chris' life before we met. I felt curiosity burning in me, but before I could ask another question we were at our destination. The first thing I noticed was not the house, but the gorgeous and very expensive looking vehicle parked outside.

"Wow. I thought people here were less conspicuous in their choices, Chris. He must get paid pretty well. Not even in Madrid have I seen a car like this."

Chris looked puzzled too; apparently this was not Chief Swan's car.

Chris knocked on the door and I expected some mob boss type man to open the door, so I was surprised when I saw a pretty average looking middle aged man.

"Hey Chief!"

"Christian, is that you? Haven't seen you in years! How are you? How's Rod? And Sheryl?"

"Great. They are doing great. They'll be here in a bit. Mom insisted on bringing a homemade cake so she told us to come ahead and keep you company. That's a sweet ride Charlie."

"Sure is. Hey, come on in. We'll wait for your parents inside."

I looked at him appreciatively. The rain was starting to make me shiver.

Walking into Charlie's house was more than awkward. I immediately sensed tension in the atmosphere. Not only did I walk into the home of someone I didn't know, but I also felt like I shouldn't be here. A few seconds later, I realized why.

Seated on the sofa in the living room was a very beautiful girl seated next to a breathtakingly handsome young man. They were beautiful in the way only people from this area could be. Incredibly pale, as though their skin had never seen the sun in all their lives. Yet, they didn't look sick, they looked strong. It felt rude to stare, but for some reason I felt such an intense urge to learn more about them. They were easily the most interesting people I had met in Forks.

After a couple seconds of tension, Charlie broke the ice by asking Chris who I was.

"Well, she is actually the reason we're here. I'd like to present Ms. Shanae Torres, my fiancé."

"Well, will you look at that. Little Chris Ford is getting married. And you're what, 23? 24?"

"24, sir" Chris said. As though he was trying to defend his age. Then he noticed the other two people seated on the sofa. "Bella, is that you?" he asked incredulously.

She looked up at him with strange golden eyes. I'd never seen anyone with that color eye before. For a second I wondered if she were related to the boy next to her.

"It's nice to see you Chris. It's been a while, hasn't it?" The way she said that made me think she really preferred that we leave. Now.

Chris didn't pick up on it and began a brief summary of what he had been up to since graduating from Forks High.

I took the opportunity to speak to Charlie, but the entire time I felt as though someone's eyes were on me. "So Charlie, this is your daughter?" I asked. He looked at me as though he was surprised I knew. "Oh, Chris told me you had a daughter he went to school with. I just assumed this was her."

"Oh." He smiled, aware that his pause had made me uncomfortable. "Yes, this is Bella, and that is her husband, Edward." I turned to formally introduce myself and was caught unaware by Edward's penetrating glance. He looked uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. Not understanding his reaction I put my hand out for him to shake. He took it, barely touching mine. His skin was icy cold, I guess that's what living in the Pacific Peninsula can do to you. I next turned to Bella, but before I could extend my hand toward her, Edward got up grabbing Bella's arm.

"Well, Charlie. We wouldn't want to take you away from your visitors, and it seems more have just arrived. Bella and I will come back tomorrow."

"Um. Ok, sure. That's just fine." Said Charlie as the doorbell rang. Chris' parents had finally shown up.

"It was a pleasure to meet you." Edward said to us both as he made his way out, followed by Bella.

I sat there for a moment contemplating that strange introduction. Something strange was going on here but I pushed it out of my mind and sat down to have a piece of Sheryl's homemade blueberry crumble.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright so how were those last two so far?**

**Thanks to blahblahblah for reviewing! Hope you like the next chapter!**

**Btw, if you hadn't already realized, I am not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own Twilight. Although I wish I did :)**

* * *

Later that day I asked Christian what he thought about that awkward introduction.

"Did you think it was weird? I didn't." he replied.

"Really? I felt so strange. Like we intruded upon them or something. Did you see how quickly they left when I tried to introduce myself?…Maybe, it was just me they didn't like." I said, disgruntled, as I remembered the harsh look on Edward's face.

"I think you're just really worried about meeting everyone and that's why you're working yourself up. There's really no reason why any would dislike you. You're great. Perfect, actually. And all mine!" He smiled as he leaned over to kiss me.

"Maybe you're right. I guess I am sort of anxious… So who am I going to meet now?" I asked, trying to lighten up the mood.

"No one, actually. I'm taking you to one of my favorite spots. La Push Beach."

Alright! Finally something right up my alley I thought. Then I remembered that we were in Washington and there was no way a visit to the beach would be pleasant right now.

"Um, Chris, do you really think now is the best time? Couldn't we wait until there's actual sun?" Although that might be for several weeks, I thought, annoyed.

"Oh. C'mon, it'll be great. I bet there's no one else there and we can take a romantic stroll along the beach, uninterrupted." He said that rather suggestively and I had to laugh. Fog and cold were not in anyway romantic to me. But, Chris' enthusiasm was contagious and I really wanted to make him happy so I grabbed his hand and said, "Let's hit the beach!"

* * *

"Well, you were right."

"As usual."

"Let me finish," I said as I rolled my eyes, "this place _is _beautiful, and the solitude is very romantic." I said,hugging him tighter to me.

"See, I told you. It may not be California, and definitely not San Sebastián. But, it's got its own merits. So are you ready to go? I think we might be late for dinner at The Lodge if we stay longer."

"Ok." I said rather reluctantly. Surprisingly, I loved being alone on this beach. It was the first time I had been alone with Christian in a long time.

When we got to the car, I realized I had left my extra jacket on the beach. I had taken it off when we sat down on a beached tree. It wasn't necessary under the warmth of a thick blanket.

"Hey, Chris. I'll be right back. I left my jacket by the tree."

"Alright. But come back soon, we can't be late, remember?" He added, winking.

It was a bit of a walk back to the tree so I jogged in order to get back in time. But, as I approached the tree, I couldn't see my jacket. I had remembered laying it on the tree, but there was no sign of a black jacket anywhere. Well that was weird, I thought, as I approached the tree. I was sure no one else had been here but us. I looked around for a sign of another human being. I couldn't find anyone. I had nearly given up when I noticed a path leading up to a small cliff, perfect for getting a great view of the beach. As I started walking up the path I got distracted by the profusion of wildflowers surrounding me, so much so that I tripped over a hole and would have severely twisted my ankle if it hadn't been for a warm, strong hand that caught me before I could fall. I was about to say thank you when I realized that in the other hand was my black jacket.

**Sorry for making all the chapters really short, but I like to stop and think about all the possibilities after everything that happens. It takes longer to write, but hopefull the end result is worth it. I'll get another one up soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to everyone who added the story for giving me a reason to write ********!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight…O well (sigh).**

* * *

I instantly wondered what type of person would take someone else's jacket. A thief? Definitely. A man with a fetish for female clothing? Probably. But this guy looked like neither. He seemed very sweet and genuine. Physically, he looked older then me and when he stretched up to his full height, he was definitely taller than me by at least a foot. But his face still held the mischief of a young boy as I looked into his deep brown eyes. I couldn't help it. I felt drawn to him, even more than I had felt towards Edward and Bella. He grinned and his white teeth contrasted beautifully with his copper skin. I probably stared at him for a while, but I finally got over it and managed to mutter a "thank you" as I reached for my jacket. I had to avoid those eyes or I would be lost again.

"You're welcome" he told me, still smiling. His stare was penetrating, like he saw something more than my face. Honestly, it was disconcerting. Only Chris had ever looked at me like that, and the fact that this stranger was also scared me. A lot. We stood there awkwardly for a second, but he broke the silence. "Hi. My name's Jacob Black." His voice was so warm; it eased my fear a little.

"Um. Hi, I'm Shanae. Shanae Torres. Thanks for picking up my jacket, I thought I had lost it for sure."

"No problem. I found it laying on my— I mean, that beached tree over there and went looking for the person who dropped it."

"Yeah, that would be me. Sometimes I can be a little absentminded." I admitted, embarrassed. I wanted to keep talking to him so I said, "This is a really nice beach. Although I have to admit, I prefer a more Mediterranean climate." It was hard to avoid his face, but I knew I had to or else my mind would go blank and he would definitely think I was just some stupid girl. Yet, it was incredibly difficult to look away because the only other option was to stare at his broad, muscular chest and then I would be dazed for sure.

"I knew you weren't from here. I definitely would have remembered you." He said shyly. "So where are you from?"

His questions were rather direct and I would have ignored them from any other random stranger, but instinct told me that Jacob was a good person and I couldn't help but feel comfortable around him.

"Well I grew up in Southern California, then I moved to New York for college, and now I live and work in Madrid."

"Wow. I had no idea you were a jet setter." He said smirking.

"Um. Hardly. Actually I'm kind of scared of planes." I admitted.

"How did you handle moving around so much if you don't like planes?"

"Honestly. I have no idea. I guess I just wanted all the other stuff enough to just get on the plane and go for it. It would bother me if I gave up on my dream just because I have a severe fear of flying." Wow. I can't believe I was sharing all this with him and we had barely met 5 minutes ago. Uh oh, 5 minutes. I had to get back to the car or Chris and I would be late. Chris. I bet he wouldn't be ecstatic if he saw me talking to a handsome bare chested man on the beach.

"Um. Well it was nice to meet you. Thank you so much for the jacket. I owe you one."

"Leaving so soon? But we just started talking." He said, his face falling.

I smiled involuntarily. "I wish I could stay." I winced inwardly knowing that it was the truth. I really did want to stay and find out more about Jacob. He was really nice and it had been a while since I had talked to someone so effortlessly. "But, my fiancée is waiting in the car and if I don't hurry, we'll be late for dinner with his family."

The boyish look was gone in an instant, replaced by a look of disappointment and (was it my imagination?) devastation followed by frustration. Most surprisingly, I felt bad about that. Really bad. I didn't want to be the cause of his pain.

"Um. Do you hang out here a lot? Maybe you can show me around the area sometime?" I asked hoping to put that smile back on his face.

"Yeah! Definitely! I'd like that." He said smiling.

I smiled too. "In that case I'll be here tomorrow."

He laughed. "Alright. I'll be waiting, but don't stand me up. Remember you owe me."

I smiled reassuringly and with that I ran off nearly sprinting to get back to the car.

* * *

"Well that practically took forever. I thought you said you were fast." Chris mocked.

"Well, I'm faster than you." I mocked back. That shut him up. It was no secret that I could beat Chris in a race any day. 15 years of playing soccer and running track had made me an excellent athlete.

"Yeah. But I'm taller _and_ older, so I win." He replied.

"Ok, fine. That still won't help you beat me though." I laughed.

"Hey, do you want to walk to The Lodge?" He threatened jokingly.

"I surrender Chris. You are the best at everything. Master of the Universe."

"That's what I wanted to hear." He said grinning.

He really liked to tease me sometimes, but (and I didn't like admitting this out loud) I thought it was really cute. I smiled as I sank back into the car seat thinking about the day. Forks was turning out to be more interesting than I had thought. Slowly, guilt built up inside me as I acknowledge the reason why I suddenly felt so differently towards this place.

* * *

The next morning I was not surprised by the gray light coming through the window. Was it actually possible that I was getting used to clouds and mist? I shuddered at the thought. If I didn't watch it I would end up missing this place when we finally left. As I got up to look out the window, I could feel excitement surge through me. Today I would go back to La Push and run on the beach. And, hopefully, see Jacob. But then I remembered Chris, and that sense of guilt eclipsed my excitement. It wasn't that I liked Jacob romantically or anything. He was good looking, but so were a lot of people. I was in love with Chris, there was no denying that. Yet, I couldn't ignore the fact that I wanted to see Jacob. I guess I was drawn in by his attitude. He was so relaxed, something I hadn't been for a while. Ever since college actually. Chris and I both worked really hard, and we were surrounded by like minded people back home. So, it was no surprise that I had completely forgotten what it was like to just relax and enjoy life.

Plus, those few minutes with Jacob had made me feel younger. I was only 22 but work and my responsibilities forced me to act maturely and sometimes I did forget I was young. But seeing Jacob's youth glow despite his apparent manhood showed me it was possible to do both. I envied that. I couldn't wait to be around him and feel that way again, now the only problem would be getting to the beach.

"Hey Shay? Are you awake?" Chris asked through the door.

"Just barely. I think I might still be jet lagged." I replied yawning.

"Well in that case, do you want to stay home today, so that you can relax? I think I might hang out with some old friends. You could come, but I don't think it would be that fun for you." He said as he opened the door and came in. He was so good looking it made my stomach do somersaults every time I saw him (another embarrassing secret I liked to keep to myself). I was so lucky, all my friends back home acknowledged my fortune in finding such an amazing and handsome guy. Not that I liked Chris just because he was handsome, but it was definitely an added bonus.

"No, that's ok. I think I'll hang out here for a bit and then maybe go for a run." I replied.

"Ok. Just be careful, it's a small town but you can still get lost." He joked.

"Please Chris, I navigated through Barcelona without the slightest problem. Besides, if I got lost in Forks I could just tell someone I know the Fords and they can bring me back here." I said.

He laughed. Everyone knows each other in Forks.

"Ok, just don't stay out too late, and call me so that I know you weren't eaten by wolves or something." I rolled my eyes, but I could sense his concern.

"Alright. You better get going or you'll miss out on all the burping and beer drinking and stuff." I laughed. "I love you"

"I love you too." He said as he took a step forward and put his arm around me. His blue eyes were impenetrable as he bent down to kiss me. Too soon he pulled away and was gone. Immediately I began to doubt what I was going to do. What would Chris say? Would he be hurt? I knew that at this point I was keeping a secret from him, something I had never done before. If he knew about that he would begin to doubt my love for him and I could not let that happen. But I _had_ told him I was going to the beach, so what if I went and just happened to run into Jacob, that wouldn't be that bad right?

* * *

The beach was incredibly cold, much too cold for my liking, but my body soon heated up as I found my rhythm and eventually I had to take off my jacket. Although the thought of seeing Jacob was in the back of my head, I was soon captivated by the solitude of this beach. It was marvelous to have the place to myself and, as annoying as the mist was, it was also oddly therapeutic. The run had cleared my mind, and the mist refreshed it.

I stopped for a while to look out to the sea, incredibly different from any other I had seen in my life. In California, the water had been a deep blue. In Spain, it was several different shades blending to create a spectrum ranging from aquamarine to indigo. This water was entirely gray. As depressing as that was, I found it relieving. It reflected the way I pictured my mind. Clouded. Lately, I hadn't been able to keep my thoughts straight. My mind felt like it was in an unbreakable knot. I was over worked and over stressed, but the run really helped me forget everything and soon I was able to calm down and start to think about why I had been feeling this way. I was so deep in concentration; I didn't realize he was already waiting for me at the tree. He looked so happy, I couldn't help but feel glad I came. I just wished he could have made it easier on me to behave. It was hard to remember that I was engaged in the presence of his sculptural muscles. I didn't think he did it on purpose, though. He didn't realize his beauty.

"You came! I thought you were going to stand me up for sure." He laughed.

"Hey, I said I was coming didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." He was smiling a huge smile and I couldn't help but loosen up and smile back. His attitude was infectious. "You're pretty fast." He said, appraising me as he looked me up and down. "But I bet you can't beat me."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I mean you just look so strong and fast. I bet I wouldn't last a second against you." I said trying to lead him into a false sense of security. It would be easier to beat him that way. "So, do you want to race? You know, just to make sure you are faster?"

"Well, I already know I'm fast, but I don't want to hurt your feelings when I smoke you."

"I won't cry. I promise." He was totally falling for it. I couldn't wait to beat him. "Ok, so we run all the way to that rock and back here. Winner gets bragging rights." It was a fair distance, probably about 200 meters total. This would be easy, I thought.

"Alright you're on."

"Good. Then we go on 3. 1, 2, 3."

I felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I picked up speed. Immediately I knew this would not be as easy as I had thought. Jacob was very fast. But, I had run the 200 m race at least 200 times. I knew how to pace myself and when to push myself harder. We were neck and neck, going so fast that the surrounding beach was just a blur in the background. We were nearly at the rock and Jacob was ahead of me by a meter. As we rounded the rock I picked up my pace again. I don't think I had ever pushed myself so hard in my life. My breath was coming in short little spurts and my calves burned with fury, but I couldn't stop. I really wanted to win. The small gap between us was closing as I gained speed each second. We were about 25 m away from the tree. It was now or never. I pushed myself once more using every ounce of energy I had left in my body. Blood was pounding in my ears, blocking out the sound of the howling wind. 5 m. 2 m. 2 feet. I won.

And then I collapsed. It took me a couple minutes to get my breath back. Then I started cheering. I was about to rub my victory in his face when I noticed Jacob's stunned look.

"What's wrong? Never seen a girl run before?" I asked. "Oh, I get it. You're mad because I beat you. C'mon it was just one race, no big deal."

Then he snapped out of it. "No, that's not it. It's just that…you're extremely fast. Inhumanely fast."

I didn't get where this was coming from. "You're fast too. You almost had me."

"Yeah, well that's different. I have special…_training_." He replied.

"Yeah, well I've been running all my life. I've trained for 15 years."

He looked at me again questioningly. Then he helped me to my feet. I still felt incredibly tired and was very near collapsing again, but Jacob held me in place. Then he leaned forward and touched my face tenderly. Oh, no. I wasn't ready for this. My heart started to beat quickly again as he held my face in his hand. Was it my imagination or was his hand blazing? Oh God. I hope that's not my body reacting to his touch. How embarrassing, I hardly ever blushed. To my chagrin, he soon let go.

"I guess you're right. You are just fast." I still didn't understand. "You look really tired and I bet you're hungry." I hadn't thought about that, but I soon realized he was right. My stomach growled in confirmation. "Lucky for you, I know a place that serves a great home-cooked meal." I was about to protest―there was no way I was going to his house, even if I was famished. Did he think he could take advantage of me or something?— but before I could, he said, "Relax. It's not my house. It's my friend's, well brother's, house. His wife is a great cook."

It still didn't seem like a great idea, but I was so hungry and I really needed to sit down for a bit so I could get my strength back.

"Um, ok. Should I follow you in your car?" I asked.

"Actually, why don't you drive? I didn't bring a car." He replied. That was weird. He must have walked a long way.

"Ok. But it might be uncomfortable. That mustang wasn't made for giants." I joked as we walked back to the car.

* * *

**So what did you think? I've got a proposal: How many of you would like to hear part of this story from Jacob's POV? Let me know! Thank you and please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**OK, so I must admit, I am a little upset at the lack of reviews because I really do appreciate constructive criticism and/or comments. Anyway, after I thought about it, I think the story would be more complete if I added Jacob's view on his encounters with Shay. So, read and (hopefully) enjoy. Then tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I'm getting closer, but I still don't own Twilight or any of the characters.**

* * *

Jacob:

Damn them. Damn them all. Why do they all have to rub their happiness in my face all the time? Wasn't it bad enough that the love of my life had been turned into a vampire and now I was alone? Did they have to all imprint? What was wrong with me? Maybe I was just another hopeless case like Leah. Damn. I sighed. It wasn't their fault that they all found happiness, I thought as I looked out at my brothers and their true loves. I guess this is further proof that I am going to be alone forever.

I couldn't take it anymore, I got up off the couch at Sam and Emily's house and ran all the way to the beach. As great as they all were, I just couldn't be around them all anymore. It hurt.

Maybe none of this would have happened if Bella had just stayed alive. I just needed more time. We could have been together. But now, this new Bella holds no attraction for me. She's still my best friend, but the pull isn't there anymore. So now, I've got no options. Great.

I ran to the tree where Bella and I had first met. It seemed like so long ago. Everything had changed. When I got there I noticed a black jacket on the tree. I picked it up and was about to throw it off when I realized that it smelled really good. It definitely belonged to a girl. A girl with a very alluring scent.

I picked it up and looked around to see if she was nearby, but the beach was empty. No surprise, no normal person could stand to be here when it was so cold. But, I didn't mind. I never got cold.

I decided to climb the cliffs and see if from that vantage point I could see her. As I climbed, I heard footsteps. They were soft and light, like the person climbing was pretty agile. And then I caught it, that smell. The same smell from the jacket. I made my way towards her cautiously, wondering if I should just drop the jacket and go or stick around to get a good look at her. I couldn't really see her very well since there were reeds and overgrown flowers everywhere. I was getting closer, I was almost in front of her. Suddenly, she lost her footing and she would have fallen and twisted her ankle for sure if I hadn't caught her.

Then it happened.

She looked up at me from under really long eyelashes with deep brown eyes. I could look at her forever. And I wanted to, because at that moment nothing mattered more than her. I would have jumped off a cliff if she had asked me to do it. And she was so beautiful. Her face was perfectly symmetric and her cheeks a bit flushed, like she had been running. Her lips were full and a rosy pink. Finally, I felt like I had a reason to keep going. Bella, and my love for her, were distant thoughts in a mind that now revolved around her. I think I might have freaked her out since she looked away kind of scared.

I didn't want her to go and I needed to hear her voice, so I introduced myself like a true gentleman.

"Hi. My name's Jacob Black."

"Um. Hi, I'm Shanae. Shanae Torres. Thanks for picking up my jacket, I thought I had lost it for sure."

Shanae. My Shanae. Her voice trembled a little like something was bothering her, but I could tell that she had a lot of confidence. I wouldn't be surprised if she was really smart.

We kept talking about the beach and stuff and I kept asking her questions. I wanted to know everything about her. She told me she grew up in California but went to college in New York and now lived in Madrid. No wonder it had taken me so long to find her. I'd never even been out of Washington. But, she was scared of planes. If only she knew she was standing face to face with a werewolf.

"How did you handle moving around so much if you don't like planes?" I asked. I thought her fear was cute. Compared to all the things around Forks to be afraid of, planes were nothing.

"Honestly. I have no idea. I guess I just wanted all the other stuff enough to just get on the plane and go for it. It would bother me if I gave up on my dream just because I have a severe fear of flying." She was brave and determined. Could it really be possible that this amazing woman was meant for me? "Um. Well it was nice to meet you. Thank you so much for the jacket. I owe you one."

I couldn't let her leave yet. "Leaving so soon? But we just started talking." Maybe she didn't feel the same way, I thought sadly.

"I wish I could stay." She said. "But, my fiancée is waiting in the car and if I don't hurry, we'll be late for dinner with his family." All the dreams I had about me and her erupted in flames. She had a fiancée. Of course, the universe couldn't let me be happy, so it sent me the most amazing girl for me to imprint on, but she was engaged. Already in love with someone else. What the fuck? My already weak heart shattered. Maybe it would be easier if I just died. Except I couldn't, this damn wolf body wouldn't let me. I think she noticed my sadness, and then I felt bad. This wasn't her fault. She didn't know anything about the freaky stuff that goes on around here.

"Um. Do you hang out here a lot? Maybe you can show me around the area sometime?" "Yeah! Definitely! I'd like that." I had to smile. She was so cute and at least she cared. "In that case I'll be here tomorrow."

"Alright. I'll be waiting, but don't stand me up. Remember you owe me."

She smiled back at me and I nearly forgot about how bad I felt. My mood relied on hers. I couldn't wait to be able to see her again, but that wouldn't be for another 24 hours. Another 24 freaking long hours at Emily's surrounded by my brothers. But at least this time I knew I wouldn't feel so empty.

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I got to the beach around noon but I didn't know when she would show up, or even if she would show up. I couldn't help but feel like there was something wrong here. None of the other guys had had problems with their girls. They had all fallen into their laps. I didn't even know if Shenae was attracted to me. Could it be possible that my imprint wouldn't feel the same way about me? Well, I couldn't force her. She still had her free will, I thought.

I waited about half an hour at the tree (was it our tree now?) when I saw her running towards me. It seemed like she was always running.

"You came! I thought you were going to stand me up for sure." I called out to her. It felt so good to be around her again. Like a part of me was gone when she left, but when she was around me the puzzle was complete.

"Hey, I said I was coming didn't I?" She said.

"Yeah, you did." I couldn't help but feel ecstatic inside. Maybe she did like me. "You're pretty fast." I told her. She was definitely built for speed. Small, but strong. And incredibly fit. She was hot, no doubt about it. "But I bet you can't beat me."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I mean you just look so strong and fast. I bet I wouldn't last a second against you." Great, she was teasing me. "So, do you want to race? You know, just to make sure you are faster?" She had no idea what she was getting herself into. Like any human could beat a werewolf.

"Well, I already know I'm fast, but I don't want to hurt your feelings when I smoke you." I said, taunting her.

"I won't cry. I promise. Ok, so we run all the way to that rock and back here. Winner gets bragging rights."

"Alright you're on."

"Good. Then we go on 3. 1, 2, 3."

I immediately started to run, but not at my regular wolf pace. I didn't want to totally upstage her. As I was relaxing into my stride I realized that she was running very fast. Faster than any other human I had seen. I had to pick up the pace to keep up with her, but I was still no where near wolf speed. Then she sped up again as we got near the halfway mark. Ok, this girl was fast I thought as I got closer to my maximum speed. We were running at the same pace, how was that possible? I wasn't getting tired, but I was running fast. Incredibly fast, and still…I lost. She managed to pull away just as we got back to the starting point. Then she collapsed on the beach leaving me stunned.

I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was a wolf too. Was that possible? She looked up at me with a smile on her face that made me want to jump up out of happiness, but I couldn't because I was having a really hard time trying to understand how this little girl had beaten me.

"What's wrong? Never seen a girl run before?" She asked. "Oh, I get it. You're mad because I beat you. C'mon it was just one race, no big deal."

That snapped me out of it. "No, that's not it. It's just that…you're extremely fast. Inhumanly fast." Would she tell me even if she was wolf?

"You're fast too. You almost had me." She said, confused.

"Yeah, well that's different. I have special…_training_." Ha, if she only knew what type of training.

"Yeah, well I've been running all my life. I've trained for 15 years." She replied a little annoyed.

Well, there was one way to test my theory. I reached out to help her to her feet and placed my hand on her cheek. Her skin was soft and to any human, it would have felt hot. But next to my blazing skin it was several degrees colder. Looking into her eyes I wanted to kiss her more than anything I've ever wanted more in my life, but I didn't want to scare her away. She was shaking, was it out of fear?

"I guess you're right. You are just fast. You look really tired and I bet you're hungry. Lucky for you, I know a place that serves a great home-cooked meal." The way she looked made me think she thought I was up to no good. "Relax. It's not my house. It's my friend's, well brother's, house. His wife is a great cook."

"Um, ok. Should I follow you in your car?" She asked.

"Actually, why don't you drive? I didn't bring a car." I told her. I hardly ever drove my car anymore. It reminded me of things I'd rather forget and it was easy to just run around in my wolf form.

"Ok. But it might be uncomfortable. That mustang wasn't made for giants." She joked. I felt hope bubble up inside me. If she didn't want a lover, at least I could be her friend. Anything was better than not having her.

I was nervous as I got into the car, maybe Sam can help me figure out why it's not working properly, I thought.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Alright. Now back to Shay's POV.**

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Rain started pounding on the window shield as I drove trying to follow Jacob's directions. It was brewing up a storm, but I was practically sweating in the Mustang. Was it my imagination or did Jacob produce an insane amount of body heat?

"Take the next left. It's the last house."

I did as I was told and drove up to a small but quaint house that seemed to be alive with action.

"Um, before we go in. Do you mind stepping out of the car so that I can change into jeans and a sweatshirt? I asked.

"No problem. I'll wait on the porch."

"Thanks." I said as I rummaged through the back seat looking for my bag. I had to admit, I was kind of nervous. For some reason I felt anxious and really hoped that they would like me. Uh, oh, I thought as a sinking feeling made its way into my stomach. This was how I felt the first time I met Chris' parents. As much as I wanted to deny it, Jacob was becoming very important to me, and that scared me. A lot.

I finally climbed out of the car and could feel Jacob's eyes on me. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking, but I was glad he finally got to see me in something other than running clothes.

"Do you think they'll like me?" I asked.

"Yeah, I do. I think they'll love you." His sincerity took me aback. I looked up at his warm brown eyes and wondered if maybe there wasn't something other than friendship in them. Before either of us could say anything, a tall, muscular man opened the door.

I could see the resemblance between him and Jacob immediately, although this man was older and his face did not have the same youth that Jacob's did. He seemed weighed down almost. Like there was something lurking in his past that he could not forget.

"There you are Jake, we wondered…" He let his voice trail off as his eyes fell on me. Then he looked back up at Jacob, but Jacob was already looking at me with a look I had only ever seen once in a movie. It was a look of complete submission, one in which you are willing to do whatever a person wants from you so long as that can put a smile on his or her face. It was a look that said I live only for you.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I ran to the car and shut myself in, unsure of what to do next. I really liked Jacob as a friend, but this couldn't go on any longer. I was engaged for Christ's sake. I felt horribly guilty as I thought about Chris. He was out enjoying himself with his friends, unaware that his fiancée had spent the day with another man. I needed to hear his voice to remind me of whom it was I really loved, so I grabbed my phone and dialed his number.

After a minute it went to his voicemail. "Hey babe. It's Shay. I was just checking in to let you know I'm OK. Hope you're having a great time. I love you." I had never put more meaning into those last three words as I did then.

I needed to go. I knew I owed Jacob an explanation but I was afraid of going back and looking him in the eye. Why was that? My insides were torn apart roughly as I acknowledged what I had been trying to suppress since the second I met Jacob. And the truth was that I was attracted to him. I liked being with Jacob. I liked knowing that he was happy when I was happy. Most of all, I liked the woman I was when I was around him. I couldn't ignore the fact that I was dangerously close to letting those feelings consume me.

Jacob and the other man were still on the porch as I approached them. I purposely kept my head down to avert meeting his eyes and quickly muttered. "I have to get home now. Suddenly, I'm not feeling very well. I'm sorry, but I have to go." And I jetted off towards the car, put it in gear, and drove as fast as I could out of there.

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The rest of the day was very uncomfortable. I half expected to see Chris storm in demanding an explanation for my recent actions, and I kept seeing Jacob out of the corner of my eye. I was going crazy and my mind was more convoluted than before. I was too distracted to eat or watch TV. So I went up to my bedroom at Chris' parents' house, and listened to my iPod hoping to get some sleep. I tried very hard not to think about the mess I had created for myself, for Chris, for Jacob, and instead lost myself in the music of my favorite band.

I had nearly sunken into a deep sleep when my phone rang loudly.

"Um. Hel-Hello." I said groggily.

"Shay, babe. It's me. I saw you called earlier and I was wondering where you were." The sound of Chris' voice put me on edge. Would I be able to act normally around him?

"Yeah. I did. I'm at your parent's house. I was just taking a nap." I said, trying to sound calm.

"Oh, did your run around Forks make you tired?" If only he knew where I had really been, I thought. He wouldn't have found that funny at all.

"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe I'm not the athlete I thought I was."

"Well listen, I was going to go home and pick you up in a bit. Brad and a couple of the other guys were thinking about going out to dinner and maybe having drinks after." I groaned inwardly. I couldn't play the role of hopelessly in love fiancée right now.

"Chris, I'm really not feeling very well right now. Do you think maybe we can do it tomorrow or something?" When I wasn't on the verge of hysteria, I thought.

"You know what? Maybe I'll just tell them that we'll do it tomorrow night instead. I don't think I could stand to be at dinner knowing that you're sick. I'll be home in 15."

"No, really Chris it's fine. Go on ahead and I'll be here when you get back."

"No, there's no way I am going to let the most beautiful woman in the world suffer alone. Ok, I got to go but I'll be there soon. Te amo."

Fantastic. I thought I would have plenty of time to regroup before I saw Chris again but now I had fewer than 10 minutes. I can do this I thought. I just need to breathe and relax. I made my way down stairs and saw Chris' mom in the kitchen. Maybe a good chat with Sheryl would take things of my mind.

About 10 minutes later Chris came in and my guilt began to gnaw on me once more. I couldn't distract myself with Sheryl's mindless banter anymore. I had to face him.

"Shay, what's wrong? You look scared." He said to me.

"Um, maybe it's the rain. I never really liked rain and this storm is too much." It wasn't a total lie; I used to be afraid of thunder storms when I was younger.

He put his arms around me and for some reason I couldn't stand his touch. The way a murderer would refrain from being in the presence of his victim's family. I gently pulled away saying, "I think I'll go into the den and watch TV or something." He looked confused. I didn't usually push him away when I was sick or felt bad, but right now I could not let him be loving because I didn't deserve it. He followed me in anyway, but sat on the other side of the room in silence. We stayed like that for awhile until I realized he had fallen asleep. Then I got up, put a blanket on him, and went to "my room."

I thought of calling my friends in Madrid but realized it was 4 in the morning over there. So instead I finished some work I had been putting off and listened to some music. Before I knew it, it was nearly midnight and as I started to get ready for bed, I heard tapping at the window. The storm hadn't let up all day and there was a strong wind, so I assumed it was a tree branch. But the tapping persisted, getting stronger every time. Finally, I went over to the window to check it out and realized there was someone outside.

Jacob.

I opened it cautiously, just enough to whisper, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I need to explain." He told me.

"Explain what? Can you please leave? If someone were to see you they'd call the police."

"That won't be a problem. I'm a friend of Charlie's."

"Jacob, I want to explain also but now is not the time or place."

"Please Shanae. I need to know everything is going to be okay with us and I need you to know."

"What us? There is no us, Jacob. I just met you the other day."

"Do you really not care about me, Shanae?" He sounded hurt.

I wanted to say no, but I couldn't lie. Not anymore. "I do Jacob. I really do." I whispered.

"Then come with me so that we can talk." He begged.

It was probably a bad idea and maybe nothing was going to change, but I had to know. So I took his hand and he led me down the tree and into a waiting car.

We drove in silence for what felt like hours. I had no idea where he was taking me, and I had to admit the situation was frightening, but I trusted Jake. Finally we arrived at our destination. He turned off the car and got out. I did the same and followed him. We were at the beach. I couldn't really see anything, but I could tell because of the sounds of the crashing waves. Thank God it wasn't raining anymore. We made our way toward the beach in silence. I didn't want to be the first to speak because I felt that the ball was in his court at this point and I needed to wait until he made his move. We kept on walking in the darkness until we reached the tree, the one that had indirectly brought us together.

"Look Shay. I'm really sorry about what happened back at Sam's. I didn't mean to freak you out or anything, it's just that I can't hide my feelings from you. I know you love your fiancée and I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do. But, I need you to know that as long as you are free to choose another option, I'll be here waiting. If you can't love me the way I love you, then I'll settle for being your friend, your neighbor, anything. My life is yours now."

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. His words dripped sincerity and love. Suddenly, clouds parted and the moon shone down on us both allowing me to see his expression. His face was torn. I could tell he hated himself for putting me in this position, but he couldn't bear the torture anymore. And, I realized, I didn't want him to. I breathed in deeply trying to think of what to say. I settled for truth. Sugar-coating things wasn't going to help anyone.

"When I saw the way you looked at me, Jacob, I knew. That's why I had to leave. I love Chris, Jacob. I really do. But, I can't deny that there's something between us. Something deeper than I've ever experienced. Like we're connected in some way that I can't understand. I care about you more deeply than I like to admit. Caring about you is easier than caring about myself, you're the better part of me, Jake." The weight that had been pulling me down felt a little bit lighter. Not as though my guilt had been lessened, but as though someone had come in to help me carry the load.

I looked up to see Jacob's reaction. He wasn't smiling like I thought he would be.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I should never have done this to you. I'll go away and leave you alone. I'd rather lose you, than hurt you."

"No! Stay." The way I said it made the word a command and I could tell Jacob took it as such. "Jacob, you'll hurt me more by leaving."

"Maybe right now, but it will be better for you later."

"Jake, please listen." I was pleading, and I knew this was only going to make things worse in the long run. But this wasn't his or Chris' fault. It was mine, and if anyone was going to have to deal with the pain, it would be me. "I know that this turned into a really big mess, but I have to deal with it now. I don't want to hurt Chris because I love him. He isn't as strong as you or me, and I don't want to break him. But I can't ignore that I need you." I really did need him, now and forever, I thought. "I just need time to figure this out. Can you give me that?

"I'd give you my life, Shay." He sighed. "I'll wait as long as you want, but I won't give you up. I'm going to keep fighting until you make a decision."

"Thank you, Jacob." I said as I leaned in to hug him. He was still at first, but then he breathed in deeply and enveloped me in his strong, muscular arms. The moment grew more bittersweet as he leaned down and kissed my forehead. We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like a century, and then he lifted my chin with his finger and very slowly, and very sweetly, kissed me.

It was strange feeling his lips on mine. I had only kissed Chris these last 4 years so the experience was brand new, like getting your first kiss. His lips were soft and his breath was warm on my face. Everything about the moment was right, so I hugged him closer and kissed him more passionately. He lifted me up off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his torso. I didn't want to stop, even though thoughts of my innocent and sleeping fiancée kept on creeping into my mind. Finally I let go.

Jacob was smiling his huge grin. "That was the best goddamn kiss of my life."

"I'm glad you thought so. I'd say the same, but I feel so incredibly guilty." I was going to say dirty, but I thought that might hurt his feelings. Even though that is exactly how I felt, slutty.

"Don't feel bad. You were just following your heart. Remember, no matter who you choose, I'll always be on your side."

"Thank you. So what was the other thing you were going to tell me?" I asked.

"Um. That can wait…you'll know after you make your decision." He seemed afraid to tell me what it was.

"Ok, I guess I deserve that." I replied. "Well, you better take me home now before Chris finds out I'm missing and then decides to call the police."

So we walked back to the car, holding hands this time, and he didn't let go until I was safe in my room once more. He gave me one more silent kiss and then was gone. After he left, I let the tears flow. I had never felt more horrible in my life. Not even when my dog died. I sat down on the bed and tried to calm myself, but I just sank deeper into hysteria. I would have to tell Chris the truth, and the idea scared the hell out of me because I knew I wouldn't be able to look into his eyes when they were full of pain. The tears streamed down my cheeks as I thought of what would happen if I chose Chris in the end. What would Jacob do? Could he really handle being my friend? And what would happen if I did pick him? I didn't want to give up my career when I had worked all my life to achieve it. But I knew Jacob wouldn't mind if I made him go all the way back to Madrid with me. Would he be able to be so far away from his family? Could Chris and I still be friends? I knew I would never stop loving either of them and that realization made me hat myself. The pain only worsened as I realized I wasn't good enough for either of them.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Hey all! I'm back from a nearly year long hiatus. It's been forever and I hope you all haven't forgotten about the story. I'm kind of just finishing it because I wanted to see the whole thing through. Hope you all like it and continue to read!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight. **

The next morning I woke up feeling horrible. Like I had gone clubbing the night before and drank a near deadly amount of alcohol. My head hurt, I was nauseous, and I did not want to get out of bed. **Thump**. **Thump. Thump**. It sounded like someone was pounding nails into the door with a sledgehammer, but it was actually Chris knocking lightly on my door. Oh God, Chris. Did he realize I was missing last night? I hope not. I wasn't ready for explanations.

"Shay? Are you awake? It's almost noon."

Shit. I was supposed to wake up early and have breakfast with his mom.

"Um. Yeah. I am. Kinda."

"Good. Do you think I could talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. Give me a sec ." I said as I reached for my robe. "Come in."

He walked into the room gingerly and sat on the corner of my bed. "Shay, what was up with you last night? I came home to see if you were ok and it was like you didn't even want me around. Are you starting to get cold feet?" He looked at me intently waiting for my answer.

"Me? No. NO. Well, maybe. Uh, I don't know." He looked away, upset. "It's not that I don't love you. You know I do. But, it's all a little too much. I'm here on the other side of the world to meet your parents because we're getting married. I'm 22. Some of my friends who are 30 are still single… I think I'm just scared that we're doing this too quickly."

"Shay, we've been together 4 years."

"Yeah, I know. But, I met you when I was 18. I had just started college. I was on my own on the other side of the country. I was young and reckless… I'm still reckless sometimes. I don't have things as figured out as you think."

"So you started dating me because you didn't know any better, is that what you're saying?"

"No. Not at all. I just think that I wouldn't be feeling this way if I had been a bit more mature when we met, or at least when we became engaged…To be honest, you're my first real boyfriend."

"So what do you want? A break? I didn't bring you all this way to scare you. I brought you here because I love you and I wanted to show you what my world was like before I met you."

"No. I don't want a break. I just think that we are getting closer to solidifying a date for the wedding and I'm not quite ready to be a wife. I want to be 100% sure that I am the best woman and wife I can be for you when we get married. I don't want to mess anything up."

"Is that what this was about? You don't think you're good enough for me? Shanae…you're TOO good for me. Honestly, is there anything you can't do better than me?" I can cheat better, I thought to myself. "Look, things aren't always going to be so easy and I'm okay with that. That's how things should be. But if you want us to forget about wedding plans for a while then that's fine with me. Let's just go back to being the two college kids who met at the Model UN club."

"Really? I think that's what I need. I love you. You know that, but I just need time. I want to figure myself out first."

"Go ahead. But in the meantime, if you ever want to talk you know you can tell me anything. Anything, Shay. Please don't act like you did last night. I don't want to be separated from you. I love you."

I wanted to cry. Why was I such a dirty, cheating, lying whore? "Thanks Chris. I know that I can count on you all the time. "

He pulled me up to him and looked me in the eyes with that stare. The same stare Jacob gave me. Uh, why was I thinking about Jacob right now? "Kiss me." I whispered. I wanted to forget about Jacob for awhile. "Make me remember the silly teenager I was when I met you." I said, half jokingly.

To my surprise, he pulled away. He looked at me questioningly but something in the way I looked at him made him go to the door and lock it behind him. Then he came over and took me toward the bed.

You dirty whore I told myself. I enjoyed it of course, but I shouldn't have because I didn't deserve him. Chris thought I loved him as much as he loved me. I thought I did. But how could I if I also cared about Jacob. Did I love Jacob? No. How could I? I'd known him all of three days now. I mean, I did kind of believe in love at first sight. But it was all a bit too improbable. Uh. Why can't I figure anything out?

Coming to CVS hadn't helped me clear things up. Usually going shopping for un-essentials helped clear my mind. I walked out into the parking lot feeling frustrated. I told Chris I wanted to just spend the day by myself, especially since I had spend the entire day and um, night with him. I laughed to myself as I remembered last night. Even funnier was his parent's behavior when we went down to breakfast this morning. They looked strangely satisfied. I'm surprised his dad didn't high-five him or something. I guess they had been doubting the intensity of our relationship and who could blame them seeing as how we had hardly spent any time together since we got here.

Suddenly, my reverie was broken by the sound of a motorcycle. I looked up to see who the hooligan was when it pulled up next to me. Sitting on top of it, bare-chested was Jacob.

"Hey there." I said.

"Hey little one."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh. Sorry. I meant, hey little fast one." He said with that big Jacob grin on his face.

"Haha. That's more like it. Anyway, what brings you around here, other than your sweet ride of course?"

"Do you like it? I built it myself. Do you want to ride it?"

I was feeling a little reckless again. "Sure, but only if I get to drive." And with that I grabbed the helmet he was holding out to me and jumped on, as I looked behind me to see if Jake was going to get on I saw another pair of eyes looking at me from across the parking lot. A pair of strange, golden eyes.

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